2022 Stuck in time of COVID

Yes. This blog is still my blog and still up and slowly running. 

We are now on our 2nd month of 2022. 

2021 was pretty much couped up inside keeping safe from COVID. 

2020 was chaotic with lots of scary-sad stories.

Here we are facing new challenges in 2022.

Are we ready to live with COVID??

2020 #2

00:40 as i started this entry.

I just had a mini anxiety. 

Just thinking about what’s going to happen next. 

Where “next” meant the AFTERLIFE.

We’ve been taught and we learned about Heaven and Hell.

But who really went and came back that we know of?

After this earth. Is this really It? Or are reborn in some parallel universe and have to live into another lifetime?

It’s not really about what I have achieved in life. 

I am not even sure if it’s in the emotional or spiritual. 

It’s like a feeling that you are pretty much just scratching the surface. Too shallow to understand the very existence.

Contentment? Fulfilment? 

How do you make life...valid?

2020 #1

I am really tired.

Work does not end til 3, in 9hrs or 10 with overtime.

After hours you need to do more. You need to live.

To live meaning you can’t stop, rest, sleep.

You need to do other house chores. Unfinished house works. Clean up like almost all the time.

You cannot complain. You cannot stop.

If you do. Nobody else is gonna do it.

If you do. Everything will be out of place.

Others are just good displacing, directing/commanding, and RANTING on how THEY feel.

Can’t even have a time off without them NEEDING you to do something even if you yourself is at your mind’s end.

On the BRINK.

2020

Things may not be turning out as what we have planned or expected but we still hang on to that hope that everything will be alright. 

I skipped a year of no post as 2019 was some sort of a recuperation period for me..for us. 

All or maybe most of us when starting a new year we look forward to wishes and hopes that our lives would get better each day. We need to or atleast try to...to survive. 

So this year.. here’s to hoping..wishing. That things will come true.

All is not well.

No matter how fragrant your aerosols are if it’s rotten then the stench will resurface like a stain that will never go away no matter how much bleach you’ve applied on. 

A dead person’s body wilting and reeking of death.

Either you put it away where it should have been or let it go/give up for Christ sakes. 

Holding on to something/someone and realizes you’re neck deep shit is dying slowly and surely. 

When will you wake up and realize that it is no longer a fight. That there are no more battles. And that it’s too late to raise the white flag? 

Because you already LOST. 

Tough draft

People judge you like they know you to the bones.
They roll their eyes easily same as they look down on you.
 There will be hatred i won't deny it, give it both ways.

for we are human .

Emotions uncontrolled,  emotions make mistakes. I, we falter.

-above is a draft from more than a year ago-

My mind is a jungle right now. It's been months that I wanted to blog again but just couldnt dissect what I want to say.
My posts may appear shallow, I'm kinda lost for words. I'm kinda stuck.

Flatline

Dear visitor,

Please be gentle with me. I know you came back way off your schedule just to accomodate my weekend.

Give me pain that i can tolerate or if you may i want it to be pain-free all throughout. Also, i hope your stay will be shorter this time.

Thanks.

It felt like my blog-mind-ish functionality is only working during the last quarter of the year because it seems that my previous entry not counting last night was a yesteryear ago.

at the moment im still drafting this entry on my phone and will wait before my lame internet connection comes back. I so dont wanna cuss about it but it's pretty effed up and it's testing my patience. It keeps on disconnecting for reasons that it can't achieve the hsdpa range. It's like I’m getting dropped calls all the time which totally sucks!

I think i'm not goin to deal with this net connection right now because it's really messing with my zen and negativity is not an option for me right now. I just don't want to drag myself down..

I'm now multitasking and that's watching tv, blogging, eating dinner, and waiting for my ever unreliable internet to be of service again.

I missed last night's episode of grimm 2 and i havent been religiously following it due to tv sched conflicts. I guess i'll just have to wait for the reruns then.

To make sure that it really is a network problem i had to open the old lappy and yeah i therefore conclude it is the effin network - it’s receiving rate goes flatline. Geez! end up playing Madden and Civilization instead. Haist! Bad vibes shoo!!!

A delayed post - unavailable net connection - entry dated oct 9, 2012